How can having empathy with people be of any benefit to us? Why should we have empathy with difficult people, wouldn't it be better just to get angry with them? How can we increase empathy?

Many of us get upset at the things other people do and say. Have you ever thought that this can be harmful to us? When we get upset, we hurt ourselves, emotionally and physically. Our happiness goes out of the window for a start.

Anger can make us act foolishly. In addition, anger or frustration can contribute to physical problems such as headaches, high blood pressure and heart disease.

Being upset with someone seldom helps us or makes a relationship better. Instead, what happens is that we carry resentment towards the other person and our negativity towards them grows. The bigger the resentment, the more we dislike the other person. The more upset we become, the worse we feel. The worse we feel, the worse our behaviour becomes.

People do and say "bad" things when they feel "bad". Road rage is a typical example of this; even inanimate objects such as red traffic lights can upset people. Has anyone ever driven slowly in front of you and you've become irritated? Have you then started complaining to yourself about the stupid driver and then found yourself getting angrier and even yelling? The anger is a health hazard. It doesn’t help your driving, nor does it make the other person drive any faster!

Is there an alternative so you stay safe, happy and well?

Yes! By having empathy for people.

When you have empathy, it can protect you from becoming upset. It will assist you in not being hassled by what people say or do. Then you can stay less frustrated and upset. Then you can be happier and healthier.

If you view people kindly, it will help you form and maintain co-operative working and personal relationships more easily too.

How can you have more empathy and judge people more kindly? Choose kindness over harshness.

If in doubt judge people with kindness and empathy. It is so easy to dislike someone and to blame them for being selfish, mean, bossy or to make some other harsh judgment about them. Pause before you do this. You may be completely wrong in your interpretation of what is going on. When you are kind in your judgment of someone and give them the benefit of the doubt, then you have more chance of expressing empathy and saving yourself from the negative side effects of anger, frustration or resentment. This means you will stay happier and feel less stress. It is a big bonus for you to reap just by being generous to another person.

When we can all judge each other more kindly and increase empathy, the world will be a much better place. We will experience less conflict, less unpleasantness and greater love and acceptance. That makes it worth it.

What is empathy? Empathy is understanding another person's feelings, situation or point of view without criticism. It is a form of acceptance. I accept that you feel as you have told me. Full stop. No argument. No trying to talk them out of it. No telling them how silly they are for thinking or feeling like they do.

Thus, if people are upset and finding it hard to manage some aspects of their lives, you may express empathy by showing complete understanding of their worldviews. As an example of empathy you might say, "So you are finding it tough at the moment; and feeling short of money is stressing you out and making you anxious".

Another example of empathy might be when you are talking to someone about the death of her or his cat. You may not like cats. You may also think that it had a good life, as it was 19 years old when it died. You may thus not see what all the fuss is about. However, the person is deeply saddened by the cat's death and feeling at a loss. Instead of showing a lack of empathy, and saying, "You must expect these things when your cat is so old," you might show more empathy if you said, "It's going to be hard for you not to have your cat around after all these years."

Irrespective of your own personal view, expressing empathy demonstrates you understand another person's view and can suspend your own.