No moving parts, no batteries
No monthly payments and no fees;
Inflation proof, non-taxable,
In fact, it's quite relaxable;
It cannot be stolen,
Won't pollute,
One size fits all,
Do not dilute.
It uses little energy,
But yields results enormously.
Relieves your tension and your stress,
Invigorates your happiness;
Combats depression, makes you beam,
And elevates your self-esteem!
Your circulation it corrects
Without unpleasant side effects
It is, I think, the perfect drug:
May I prescribe, my friend... the hug!
Moreover, of course, fully returnable!

by Henry Matthew Ward